Thursday, October 08, 2009
Ok, so I last posted about a year ago. But this was just too good not to share. Believe it or not, this is the edited version. Typos, etc. intact because I don't have any more time to commit to this.
me: http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/shark-copy.jpg
8:56 AM SuperAly: will he make it?
me: ahahahaah
8:57 AM if you chop sylar in half. And half is swallowed by a shark, and the other half makes the jump.....do you have TWO Sylars? One in a shark stomach, and one on the ocean floor?
SuperAly: hrm
or must they have their powers combined to form captain planet?
wait, wrong show.
me: he bonds WITH the shark
interesting
he no longer blinks
he has rows of teeth
8:58 AM SuperAly: and becomes ... gasp.... A LAND SHARK
me: and he can't stop moving or he stops breathing
SuperAly: its like SPEED meets DEEP BLUE [Sea]
me: Just when you thought it was safe to go back to....wherever he is.
AMAZING
SuperAly: he haunts you even in the bathroom
im just saying. toilets aren't safe anymore
9:44 AM
me: I keep trying to work, then thinking, THIS MAY, ZACHARY QUINTO IS Land Skark! IN LAND SHARK and laughing
9:45 AM SuperAly: HAHAHAHAHHAHA
LAND SHARK, grows on you like cancer
Dr. D: I can see the teaser poster....nothing but a dorsal fin on a dark background and SUMMER 2011 in giant letters
me: HEE.
SuperAly: and no title
SuperAly: and no title
9:49 AM Dr. D: then, of course, there's the viral marketing campaign, which will in part riff off the evolution of man drawings http://www.infoplease.com/images/evolution_of_man.gif
little drawings of evolving sharkmen popping up
9:49 AM SuperAly: brizzilliant
SuperAly: or that viral marketing from
9:50 AM discovery channel
for shark week
where the chick is all waving
as she is in the water
and clinging to the side fo the kayak
and then BAM
me: they should release it DURING shark week
SuperAly: she's under
IN CONJUNCTION WITH
9:51 AM have a dressing room scene
where the girl is trying on a white dress (of course)
and you see the curtain
and this awkward shadow swiftly move across it
then you realize..
ITS THE LAND SHARk
and all hear is screaming and blood stained white dressed
dress
me: duh nuh duh nuh duh nuh, WE"RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER LAND MASS
9:52 AM
Dr. D: YES
9:51 AM I see Kristen Bell as the former friend tasked to bring him down
me: this is soooo much better than the stalkerazzi short story that's been bouncing around in my head the last week
Dr. D: We'll pair her with some decent looking guy that can sustain significant injury at the end of the second act
9:52 AM me: In the end, she kills Land Shark, but not before realizing he still loved her.
Dr. D: DUDE....last shot, we glimpse [KB], who LandShark got with before going full fishy, who is now pregnant, thus preserving the sequel and giving us the sequel teaser poster of a bare pregnant belly with the outline of a shark fin pressing outward
Dr. D: DUDE....last shot, we glimpse [KB], who LandShark got with before going full fishy, who is now pregnant, thus preserving the sequel and giving us the sequel teaser poster of a bare pregnant belly with the outline of a shark fin pressing outward
9:53 AM 2014: Land Shark 2! Curse of the Land Shark!
Land Shark 3: Mermaid's Purse!
SuperAly: but its like a werewolf thing
where he only becomes a land shark
if he gets wet with salt water?
so more like a gremlin thing
me: when dry
opposite Splash thing
SuperAly: mm
so he always carries around a jar of water
9:55 AM with his hand in it
and one day some dumb kid breaks the jar
and unleashes...
THE LAND SHARK
Dr. D: We could have a part of the film where he tries to escape his cursed heritage by traveling the world from monsoon season to monsoon season
Dr. D: We could have a part of the film where he tries to escape his cursed heritage by traveling the world from monsoon season to monsoon season
9:57 AM
Dr. D: only to accept his curse and terroize the desert
me: diet coke
all over my desk
Dr. D: =)
SuperAly: and meeting with individuals of great scientific knowledge.
or
it could be like
the end of shawn of the dead
where we find land shark chained u p
and playing with sea monkeys
9:58 AM SuperAly: ha
LAND SHARK: The MUSICAL
OMG
instead of the song "under the sea"
itd be something like "oh desert, my desert"
me: darling it's better up where it's dryer
drier
10:00 AM ICE SHARK: The Skating Spectacular
10:01 AM Starring Brian Boitano! In the role made famous by Zachary Quinto! Come see Land Skark ON ICE
10:12 AM SuperAly:
up wheres its hotter
SuperAly: under the big sun
ON THE DESERT
10:13 AM
SuperAly: hrm
10:14 AM OH OH OH
there could be a little lion king 'circle of life in there'
should land shark have a land shark granpa?
do they like bacon?
10:15 AM me: of course they like bacon.
SuperAly: excelelnt
we will reach a wide audience
me: I thought he bonded with the shark
SuperAly: get this
THIS ISNT THE FIRST TIME ITS HAPPENED BEFORE
kinda like buffy
if a slayer dies
one takes its place
so like
the previous land shark only TEMPORARILY DIED
10:16 AM me: so now he has a Land Shark Yoda?
Kill or kill not, there is no try.
SuperAly: mmm
no.
they are in gasp
COMPETITION
then they bond
me: for who can be the greatest LS?
and fall in LOVE?!
SuperAly: after a fierce struggle for dominance
10:17 AM me: bow chicka bow wow.
I MEAN
SuperAly: theres a total "i love you man" scene in there somewhere
me: exactly.
so who's OG LS played by?
SuperAly: im thinking anthony hopkins
or ralph fienes
me: WHAT?
ahahahaha
SuperAly: you do realize that this will be greater than homer's odyessy
well i mean ralph fienes or hopkins would lend credibility to the film
helen muren can play his mom or some shit
10:19 AM
er mirren
me: AHAHA
me: =)
10:26 AM Land Shark 2: Son of Shark
10:28 AM Land Shark 3: Sand Shark
10:29 AM Helen Mirren is the Marine Biologist KB fgoers to for advice
10:30 AM Sam Jackson is gonna have to make a cameo
10:34 AM i think the comptetition storyline should be saved for the inevitable reboot
10:37 AM SuperAly: LAND SHARK ORIGINS
excuse me
LAND SHARK: ORIGINS
me: =D
10:42 AM me: Land Shark 47: Shark Fever! It;'s in the water!
10:43 AM =D
SuperAly: HAHAH
10:46 AM
SuperAly: LAND SHARK
DUN DUN DUN DUn
10:49 AM OMG
theme song
10:50 AM or
i submit
song 2:
me: WOW
10:51 AM SuperAly: YESSSSSS
10:52 AM epic find
10:58 AM me: Land Shark
gets you wet?
SuperAly: hehehhehehehe
thats the porno title
10:59 AM LAND SHARK: Big Fin Fantasies
me: get ready to get wet
SuperAly: dive right in
11:00 AM what the fuck is wrong with us?
me: we're AWESOME?
SuperAly: true dat.
11:01 AM me: =)
SuperAly: hehehe
yay land sharks
11:04 AM me: =)
I feel the need to design like a neighborhoodie with LAND SHARK and like an anchor or something on it
SuperAly: id buy it
11:05 AM me: =)
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