Sweet Tattoo

The man my sister has taken to calling "Phelpsy" models his bling, Spitz-style.

Though, I have to say, the commenters on that post are my favorite part. It has become this whole debate about hirsute men v. the manscaped, and also a forum on whether baggy swim trunks are a sign of homophobia.

And then one of them complains about how Phelps "never misses an opportunity to be photographed shirtless."

Let's examine this for a second.

Point 1. HE"S A FUCKING SWIMMER. It's absolutely no different from photographing Apolo Ono in his unitard or Nastia Lukin in her little bathing-suit-with-sleeves thing. It's what they do. It's the goddamned uniform.

Point 2. Have you seen him in clothes? He looks like any other lanky, doofy tall guy.

Point 3. Have you seen his abs? He's doing the world a favor (that some others could learn from >cough<) and sharing.

Point 4. Did you miss the part about how this is a specific and deliberate echo of the earlier Mark Spitz portrait, you osteocephalic moron?

ETA: J.Lo is a self-centered moron (SHOCKER) and Michael Phelps is the new Chuck Norris. hee.